Where go the Phileo?
I have to begin by saying the reason for this posting is that I have had a very trying weekend. It's Sunday evening and I'm watching the Pats play the Broncos which is typically a great way to end any weekend. I usually feel like a have great friends but today I feel like I've got a bunch of dating or married friends which can be the friend of the worst type if you've ever been there. I say the worst type b/c you know how things used to be and perhaps you know that they may never recover from whatever relationship has captured them. Does anyone out there begin a romantic relationship and yet maintain a healthy and worth while relationship with their close friends, their close friends whom they have perhaps invested in for years and years. My best friend is married and in Seattle, Washington. He is great and I love him but his relationship can only provide so much from that distance. One of these guys has just moved about 45 minutes away, is in grad school and has a girlfriend. Another of my boys is becoming more and more involved with his lady and I hear from him less and less. I suppose at 26 I should be thinking about settling down but at the end of the day I don't know if that is where God wants me just yet. Visio Dei is such a great place but I don't feel very close with anyone. This may be God's way of drawing me in. I suppose if I was God I might do something similar to get my kids' attention. I'm pretty content as long as I've got plenty of friends around me. I suppose that is some sort of validation..........like as long as people call and want me to hang out then everything is cool. What happens when that is gone? It's like the song, "when the music fades and all is stripped away and I simply come, longing just to bring something that's of worth" I definitely want to bring something that's of worth but typically it's to the people in my life and it's not that it's a bad thing but what am I bringing to God's table? Not a whole heap here lately and that could be the reason for these feelings I'm having. If God wants more of my attention; then taking away some of the people that typically take priority over him would make a lot of sense. God, Is this what's going on here? I think I might know what you need me to do. Please give me the strength and the motivation to do it. Right now; it's more time alone studying and meditating; but in the near future this could mean more than just a little more discipline in personal prayer and scholarship. I have to go somewhere and do something. This thought tugs on me every day. I think it's the Holy Spirit and I believe that I will obey Him in due time. It would be nice to have someone to team up with me on this but if I have to go alone..........so be it. I've been meaning to write about this desire for a while but haven't posted. Look for me to pick this topic up again very soon. Until then; I hope that all of my impaired friends will drop these silly relationships and come back home where they belong! I'm just kidding but if a few of these stomach turning couples call it quits in the next few weeks; you won't here A-Dubs complaining. I'm about to crash so Alan is outie. Thanks for reading......
1 Comments:
word em up big fella...
sounds like you got some stuff going on in that noggin of yours... even though I'm married I'd love to hear what your thinking... hit me up...
Love ya man,
-J
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